The Crusader

Face lift is face let down

Amberley Taylor

Alondra Botello and Michelle Mattich

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We slobbered and choked as the Crusader News staff tried the facial slimmer. We decided to try this product to find a way to slim the face in an easier way.

The facial slimmer is a product on Amazon where it is supposed to help you slim your face. You can order it off of Amazon for only $4.99.  

Basically, you try to put Kylie Jenner’s lips on top of yours if that is even possible. Lucky for you it is! You put your lips behind the silicone lips and your teeth will be behind the product. Use this product for three minutes a day. The instructions encourage making vowel sounds like A-E-I-O-U. (Trust us … it didn’t work and sounded funny).

Michelle Mattich said she felt odd having a face slimmer on her mouth and gave the product zero stars.

There are pictures portraying all the different ways you can use this contraption such as in your home in a comfortable space or in the bathtub while your trying to chillax. 

Keep in mind this product will make you slobber, so keep a napkin or towel by your side as you are testing this product (because we didn’t). You won’t be able to talk correctly but rather you will sound like Dory from “Finding Nemo”, making whale sounds hoping to attract to a mate. But sadly, we all know no one will come.

Overall, this was very unsatisfying. They should stop selling the facial slimmers to stop disappointing women. The product makers promised results but instead you get a bruise or sore in your mouth.

This product was also made in China and since we put it in our mouths we will probably be dead by the end of  next week from all of the toxins in the silicone. But hey! We had to try it so other people wouldn’t.

This was a waste of money and truly unsatisfying, Crusader gives it 0 out of 5 stars because it is THAT bad. You look like like a Miranda Sings reject and even then they look better than we did.

For some fun at a party, you might give this product a try. We definitely got a workout laughing.

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About the Contributors
Alondra Botello, Reporter

Alondra Botello was born in Houston, Texas and moved to Kansas when she was 10. She has traveled to California and Las Vegas. She loves to cruise with friends, listen to music, watch movies and going out with friends. Botello plans to travel in the future.

Michelle Mattich, Co-Editor

Michelle Mattich was born in El Paso, Texas She enjoys writing, and listening to music. She also enjoys reading a good book and watching Netflix. Michelle is an English major hoping to expand her horizons in the literature world. After two years at SCCC, she hopes to transfer to Wichita State University.

Amberley Taylor, Co-Editor

Amberley Taylor was born in Garden City, Kansas. She was raised for most of her life in Satanta, but has lived in other places like: Durango, Colorado and Farmington, New Mexico. Amberley is a nursing major at Seward County Community College. After her time at SCCC, she plans to transfer to a university.

Anastasia Smalldridge, Photographer

Anastasia Smalldridge is a freshman and graduated from Liberal High School in 2018. You can spot Smalldridge easily with her blue and pink hair and a camera strapped around her neck. She plays the tuba in the SCCC band. She has 5 dogs because dogs are her life.

Rubi Gallegos, Photo Editor

Margarita “Rubi” Gallegos is a freshman majoring in Digital Photography. She was born in Tierra Blanca, Guanajuato, Mexico and has lived in Liberal for 14 years. She graduated from Liberal High School. Her favorite things to do include spending time with family and hanging out with friends.

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Face lift is face let down