Face lift is face let down

Amberley Taylor

Alondra Botello and Michelle Mattich

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We slobbered and choked as the Crusader News staff tried the facial slimmer. We decided to try this product to find a way to slim the face in an easier way.

The facial slimmer is a product on Amazon where it is supposed to help you slim your face. You can order it off of Amazon for only $4.99.  

Basically, you try to put Kylie Jenner’s lips on top of yours if that is even possible. Lucky for you it is! You put your lips behind the silicone lips and your teeth will be behind the product. Use this product for three minutes a day. The instructions encourage making vowel sounds like A-E-I-O-U. (Trust us … it didn’t work and sounded funny).

There are pictures portraying all the different ways you can use this contraption such as in your home in a comfortable space or in the bathtub while your trying to chillax. 

Keep in mind this product will make you slobber, so keep a napkin or towel by your side as you are testing this product (because we didn’t). You won’t be able to talk correctly but rather you will sound like Dory from “Finding Nemo”, making whale sounds hoping to attract to a mate. But sadly, we all know no one will come.

Overall, this was very unsatisfying. They should stop selling the facial slimmers to stop disappointing women. The product makers promised results but instead you get a bruise or sore in your mouth.

This product was also made in China and since we put it in our mouths we will probably be dead by the end of  next week from all of the toxins in the silicone. But hey! We had to try it so other people wouldn’t.

This was a waste of money and truly unsatisfying, Crusader gives it 0 out of 5 stars because it is THAT bad. You look like like a Miranda Sings reject and even then they look better than we did.

For some fun at a party, you might give this product a try. We definitely got a workout laughing.

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