![The sophomores were recognized on the field instead of walking across the stage during their doubleheader. They received their diplomas and a picture of themselves playing during their career at Seward. [Pictured left to right are Dylan Day, Reed Thomas, Jase Schneider, Mason Martinez, Gannon Hardin, Brody Boisvert, and Zach Walker]](https://crusadernews.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/WEBDSC_0275-900x454.jpg)
![Marcos Montoya takes a break from working on his personal health from working at the gym. He says “That’s [the gym] my second home, basically. I’m there more than I am at my own house.”](https://crusadernews.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/web1UpCloseMarcos1-1200x800.jpg)
Don’t waste your money!
May 11, 2022
Beauty is a strange thing. I say that it is a strange thing because everyone, everywhere, whether they want to admit to it or not, wants some version of it. Even if they are well aware that it will most likely come with some form of discomfort.
In fact, many people have already acknowledged this with a common phrase. Beauty is pain. If you are one who, despite the pain, will still try to attain beauty then I implore you to buy a facial slimmer. I assure you that you will, no doubt, regret it.
Seriously, don’t waste your money on this. They cost as much as $17.
The facial slimmer that I received is bright red and rubbery to the touch. I have a hard time believing that the designers had not just finished watching Toy Story and used Mrs. Potato Head’s lips as inspiration.
Multiple times, I tried to put the product in my mouth and it just kept popping out. I found this part to be the most frustrating because as simple as it looks, it, in reality, is truly a nightmare.
Once I finally got the facial slimmer to set right in my mouth as well as to stay put, saliva immediately just started to build up.
Because of this, you should keep a roll of paper towels or a rag nearby so that you can clean up your puddle of saliva that the product caused. Sounds gross? It is.
With the product in your mouth, repeat your vowels, not vows, three minutes per day. I’d say that sounds like loads of fun, but I’d be lying.
When I tried to do as the product suggested, I could barely move my mouth and I felt like gagging the entire time. Which brings me to…
Warning! This product is a choking hazard, please proceed with caution! Not kidding, I almost choked at least once while trying to put the facial slimmer in my mouth. It is, by far, the most discomforting thing I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
As a result, I would not recommend this product to anyone, anywhere. If you feel the need to waste your time and money on this product, go on ahead but don’t say that you weren’t warned.
I hope you thoroughly enjoy three minutes per day full entirely of discomfort and pain as you desperately try to attain beauty.
