Christmas with divorced parents

Crusader member recounts Christmas with divorced parents


Brianna Rich

Having divorced parents on Christmas is not as fun as some kids think. Instead it can be confusing for kids who are not used to not having their family together for Christmas.

Most kids think that the kids who have divorced parents are lucky. The reason they think this is because of the myth that the kids get two Christmases. However, I was the kid who had divorced parents during the holidays, and I disagree with the statement that I get two Christmases. The only thing that was really true was that we would get two different gifts, but other than that it really sucked having my parents separated.

The beginning of any kid’s parent’s divorce is not always a good time because you always wonder when your mom or dad is going to come back. It can also be a confusing time because it is like, why do we have to go to two separate houses now? 

I was in elementary school when my parents got divorced, and I know that for me that is always what I thought about. Then once it was my first Christmas without both of my parents in the same place, I at first got excited because, like many kids, I thought ‘Oh now I will get to have two Christmases’ but I was wrong.

The first Christmas was not as great as what the myth made it out to be. Instead I started to wonder why we had to go back and forth. I always wondered why neither one of them could just stay like it used to be. 

To others getting two Christmas gifts might seem great, but to me the one thing that I always wanted was my family back together. Now that I have grown up, I am able to actually understand why it couldn’t be the way I wanted.  

As I am 20 years old, I understand why it would have been hard for my parents to be in the same room especially right after their divorce. I won’t completely be able to understand since I haven’t experienced it, but I do know what a break up feels like. This gives me a little understanding on how painful it would have been for them to try to be together. Since I now understand why they couldn’t make what I wanted happen, I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self.

If I could talk to my younger self, I would tell her that it may hurt right now but to trust that it will get better as you get older. There will still always be a couple bumps in the road with holidays and visiting but later on it will get easier. 

I would also tell my parents that I know they did everything they could to try to make it work for us by taking us to visit the other parent and by trying to do their own thing. Therefore, to anyone who is going through a rough time with their parents getting divorced just know that it won’t be easy, but as time goes on it will be easier to understand. 

Then to the parents who are worried about what their kids will go through on the holidays, just try your best because that is all you can do. Later on your kids will grow up and understand why it is so hard to be with your now ex. Just make the best of what you have, and try to have fun and make great memories.