It has always been known that suicide is a big issue and that it needs to be talked about. We have been taught the warning signs and how to help but what if someone never showed warning signs? I’ve been asking myself that question since my cousin committed suicide on August 7, 2021. 

I will always remember the day that I got the news. I had just got home from a shopping day and I was all smiles until I saw my mother’s jaw drop to the floor and I heard my dad’s cracking voice saying, “Ruby… Whitt killed himself last night.” My heart stopped and it was almost as if I didn’t hear what I had just heard. Believe me, I really didn’t want to hear what I had heard. 

I thought to myself that I had been seeing him being active on Snapchat and it hadn’t even been 24 hours ago. I wanted to message him and I wanted to make sure. Then I waited to see if my Snapchats to him were opened. I waited to hear back from him but I never did. I refused to believe that he was gone but I was basically forced to believe it at his funeral.

It was refreshing to hear how loved Whitt was and we all just wish he would have realized it. 

I personally want everyone to know that it’s okay to not be okay. I’ll admit that I’m still not okay and I still don’t understand. We hear about suicide more often than we would like and it saddens us but losing loved ones to suicide is an indescribable pain.

Please, if you have suicidal thoughts and feelings, reach out to someone. If you feel like you have no one to reach out to or if you feel like no one cares, just know that someone somewhere is willing to lend an ear. There is always someone waiting to talk to you 24/7, just call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.