“When life smacks them back and hands them a three year bid in the state’s system, then it’s time to change” –Devon Ponder

The lights are cut off at 10 p.m… On the dot. They’ll be back on at 5 a.m. Until then though, it’s pretty much the same thing every night. Threats of violence and appeals for goods are what pass the time. A person out there would be surprised how much a pre-packaged ramen soup would get them in here. It starts off in super max. A term shortened by those who have said it too many times. From then, if you’re lucky, it progress’s on to max, then medium, then minimum. That’s of course if you’re lucky. County jails are a waste of time, but prison is a waste of life. I’ve given both my time and my life to such burdens in the past. I’ve given a lot. I walk through the halls and avenues of our precious campus wandering if it is at all possible to live in two worlds. The world of nice clean people with goals and academic focus and the world filled with a mentality of get it now and get it now at all costs, because that’s what every decision in the latter boils down to. I realized sometime back that it is possible but not pleasant. I’ve seen how going to class with a dispassionate mentality will only alienate people. I see how returning to the “other” side with a “wholesome” mentality gets one eaten alive. Truly a balancing act if ever there was one. A person spends their life living up to the standards of the streets until that’s what he or she becomes. When life smacks them back and hands them a three year bid in the state’s system, then it’s time to change. But change is not easy. It is not easy to undo years of training and miraculously become someone they should have been. It is easier to fold. It would be much easier. Easy isn’t what gets it though. Easy does not make tomorrow better. So what will make tomorrow better and each day after that? I’ve answered that for myself and it doesn’t include wasting either my time or my life anymore.